


tear down the wall

by hanorganaas



Series: The Righteous Son. [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Study, F/M, Light Smut, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 17:20:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11718957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanorganaas/pseuds/hanorganaas
Summary: After all the tragedies in her life Leia coped by shutting those she loves out. It makes healing things with her husband who had returned after a long seperation, a bit more difficult.





	tear down the wall

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brokenedgeben](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=brokenedgeben).



> This was written for brokenedgeben, who wanted Han and Leia, a bit of Darkpilot and a redeemed Ben Solo. Of course hating the idea of Canon, I decided to jump into one of my universes where Ben never becomes Kylo Ren at all. In this verse, Han and Leia hide Ben from Snoke by faking his Death the result of which causes Rey to become Snoke's Pawn instead. Also in this verse Han and Leia have Adopted Finn. I hope you enjoy this.
> 
> Thanks to my Beta Tegan who once again looked over my work.

They were home.

The oldest of her two children she had to pretend was dead, and the husband she pushed away because of it, were home. Leia should have been elated, because having at least some of her family home would mend some wounds that Snoke inflicted on her family. 

But she felt nothing, and it was odd. She should have been taking the time getting to know the boy who, after years apart, had transformed into a man-- almost a spitting image of his father. But instead she was watching Ben from afar. He and Poe were sitting on comfy chairs in the common room, probably catching up after years apart. It was almost if they were seeing each other after days and not years. 

They smiled. They laughed, occasionally Leia saw the boys leaning their hands on each other ever so slightly before laughing and getting back to their conversation. 

For a second Leia thought about her and Han. They were still technically married, however the result of losing Ben plagued them for years. Han tried his best to make her happy. Adopting Finn helped them a bit; but then when Finn decided to go undercover for the Resistance, sending him deep within the rough waters that was the First Order, Leia was unhappy again. It caused a lot of arguments, mostly started by her, until Han had enough of trying to please her when she refused to keep the defiant fighting attitude she had in the Rebellion. He stormed out and went back into his job, only occasionally checking in on her to see if she was still alive, though she believed he wanted to know if Finn was still okay in his dangerous job.

“CALL ME WHEN I GET MY FUCKING WIFE BACK!” She remembered Han yelling before slamming the door.

It had been years since they actually lived together as husband and wife. She wondered if they would be in the same state as Poe and Ben, who she knew had feelings for each other. She sighed deep in thought when suddenly she felt a hand touch her shoulder.

She almost jumped at the sudden affection, but she turned her head to see that it was Han. His face still had a few cuts and a light bruise from his ordeal but he still looked handsome between that and the old weathered features.

“Hey,” Han said with a smile, “Can we talk? Ben isn't going anywhere.”

Leia was almost frightened to do so. 

She was afraid after all the tension of losing Ben and thrusting Finn into danger would cause a fight, but she knew she would have to face him eventually. 

“Of course,” Leia said quietly.

Han took her hand in his, another feeling that was unfamiliar to her because of their years apart, brushing his thumb on the upperside of her hand. With a small smile he led her away from the party.

* * *

Leia let Han lead her to her bedroom. It was the only place she could be without being disturbed. It felt weird. He never let go of her hand. He kept it linked with hers. He sat on the bed as she stood. His eyes still remain settled on her. They sparkled as if she was the only thing left in the universe. It was supposed to be familiar but yet...it felt….foreign. 

What was once something that brought her joy, was something she had to re familiarize herself with, if she allowed it. There was something blocking her. Something wasn't allowing her to go forward. 

“I was thinking we’d talk about us,” Han said tilting his head to the side, “Almost dyin’ today put a lot of things in perspective. It’s been a while, and I know we left on a sour note….but Ben’s home, I’m sure Finn will follow….maybe we should use this time to help us heal…..be together again.”

Han raised his hand to touch her face. His fingers tracing the contours of her face. His skin was just as rough as they were all those years ago, but still he was so gentle with her. Leia couldn’t help but wonder why was he so affectionate with her after all these years. When she was the one who shu-

This was too much. The feel of his hand. The way he was looking at her. She didn’t deserve this not after….he put in everything for her, and she couldn’t let a test in their marriage keep their bound strong. 

“Han, I…” Leia turned her head away from the gentle and satisfying touch. She tried to form the words but she didn’t know how to say them. She loved him, oh she loved him, but….

Han turned her head towards him. When she stopped speaking usually this was the part where he stopped being so kind and got frustrated. But this time he wasn’t. Maybe it was age and he matured, maybe because he missed her so damn much, but he looked understanding….. _kind_. He stood up to his feet with his hand still linked with hers with a gentle smile.

“I get it,” Han said with a nod, “I didn’t understand that years ago, but I guess being alone, it hit me, you are so used to getting close to people and then having them disappear from you….it happened on Alderaan, it happened with us and Ben, then with Luke.”

Oh gods, he hit it right on the nail. Leia hated it, but Han was so right. Alderaan was so damaging that losing her whole family, even if they were still alive, it was so traumatizing because it sent her the mere reminder of what she lost. 

But at the same time knowing that, she was able to let go and face her fears. She was older, she was wiser, and she knew not everything would end in tragedy. It would all work itself in the end. The wall she built was torn down and she could let others into her her heart again. 

Han looked down and took a deep breath, “you’re cautious and I get it...you need some time to heal…I guess what I meant to say we’ll take it slow...I hope you are able to heal and know Ben and I...we’ll never leave you again. Chewie and I stay and help you anyway I can but...when you are ready, you know where I am.”

Han bent down and kissed her on the lips. Leia didn’t know what it was. Maybe it was the fact he was so patient with her now, maybe it was because it reawakened old memories, maybe she remembered how happy it made her. But for the first time in a long time, it reawakened something in her that had long been dead. 

Love, Passion, Romance.

And there was a hunger burning in the pit of her stomach. 

As quick as the kiss began it was over. Han released her hands and made his way towards the door.

“Han, wait,” Leia said.

Han turned to face her, his eyes looking at her with hope and longing onto what she was going to say. She didn’t say anything. Leia didn’t know what came over her, but she reached up and grabbed Han by the collar and pulled him close. His lips collided with hers on impact, followed by waves of rough, bruising kisses. 

Leia’s hands slipped from the collar of his jacket to his shirt. Almost in a feral manner, she started pulling violently at the buttons of his shirt, exposing his surprisingly still toned chest and stomach. Han hummed and broke the kiss staring at her with a questioning look.

“Are you sure about this?” Han asked.

Leia smiled, her fingers dancing around the bare skin of his torso. It caused his breath to quicken at a rapid pace. 

“Han I shut you out for so long,” She said, “It’s time to let you back in.” 

Han didn’t say a word. He just reached behind Leia’s head and pulled the pins holding her hair in an intricate style and let it fall down loosely to her shoulders. Leia shook her head.

“Still beautiful,” Han observed. 

“And you still drive me crazy,” Leia teased.

Han didn’t answer. He just laughed and effortly scooped her into his arms. Leia gasped in surprise but wrapped her arms around his neck. She claimed his lips once again, reacquainting herself with the sweet taste of him as he carried her into bed.

* * *

After all those years apart with Han, Leia thought her husband was going to be somehow be a stranger for her. But everything was so familiar to her. The way he moved. The way her body seized around him. He still knew every spot to touch, and the right buttons to push to make her ignite. Even in the afterglow Han knew everything she liked.

He held her body close. He made sure her head was buried in his chest. Her tiny fingers moved in circular patterns. He was slowly catching his breath (as breathing was a tiny bit more difficult him after being frozen in Carbonite). Finally, his breathing regulated and he ran his hand through her hair, his fingers tangling in the strands.

“So much for taking things slow,” Han quipped. 

Leia chuckled and kissed his chest. He laughed along with her. His deep, masculine laugh, rumbling from the pit of her stomach through her bones. It warmed her soul.

“I missed you,” Leia murmured. The room became silent. For a few moments the sound of breathing and Han’s steady heartbeat filled the room. “And you were right. With all I have been through I had shut people out. For a long time...you took that pain away from me. But then everything happened with Ben….I felt like...I lost everything again.” 

Han slipped his hand under Leia’s chin and tilted her head up towards him. His thumb brushed gently against the soft skin of her cheek. His lips slowly turned into a smile.

“But you didn’t,” Han sighed gently, “There's a huge difference between now and what happened back then. Then, everything you loved was taken from you. Yeah everything was taken but in the end. It all came back to you.”

“Almost everything,” Leia said with a sigh. Finn was still in his dangerous job in the First Order, protecting and hoping to bring Breha back to her senses. Luke still refused to talked to Leia because of her actions. “But for now this is good….Ben looks a lot like you, you know.”

Han narrowed his eyes and nodded. He seemed to agree. Leia remembered just hours ago doing a double take when Ben descended from the steps of the Falcon like a ghost from her past. Handsome, charming, with a sense of adventure in his eyes. 

“But he’s got your strength,” Han added, “You’ll like him. If you are ready to meet him tonight, I think we’re going to have to put some clothes on first.”

Leia elbowed him gently. Han made a fake whine and teasing pout. Still youthful and full of life. 

“Tomorrow,” Leia said, “I think he’s making up for lost time with a certain Mister Dameron.”

Han nodded in agreement. 

“Glad you see that too,” He quipped.

“Besides,” Leia said as she lifted her head close towards his. Her lips hovered over his, just a breath apart. “I am enjoying spending some lost time with my husband.”

“Wouldn’t argue with that.” 

Their lips touched and the sparks ignited once again. So long Leia shut people due to nothing but pain and heartache in her past. It made her feel nothing but empty. But as the walls fell down and she let love back in, she felt something she hadn’t felt in a long time. 

The familiar sensation of knowing what it was like to feel whole.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy! Remember to send me fics at:
> 
> melindamaay.co.vu/ask


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